THE WALLOWING MAN
FOR 33 SHAMELESS YEARS I've wallowed
in the blood of the cinema. For 33 years I have been up
to my armpits in pools of gushing cinematic gore. Not
to mention bug-eyed, flesh-ripping alien monstrosities,
Frankenstein creations ripping apart laboratories and
human beings, hockey-masked slaughterers, slouch-hatted
cacklers of maniacal glee, gauze-enwrapped mummies and
other entities of excruciating evil that have shambled
ravagingly across the nightmarish landscapes of my twisted
imagination. For 33 years I have been spared none of the
graphic shocks and soul-wrenching terror presented in
our modern cinema by the mild-mannered sentimentalists
and weepy hearts in control of the movie business.
You see, life-long friends of the CREATURE
FEATURES world, and new browsing, arousing visitors
to THE CREATURE FEATURES SPIDER WEBSITE . . .
my business in life (if I have any business
at all) is to review each science-fiction, fantasy and
horror movie, TV movie and homevideo as it is regurgitated
from the maw of Hollywood, so that you fans-viewers-aficionados-intellectuals-historians
will automatically know which ones will most appeal to
the vicarious needs that roil and broil within your most
singularly inexplicable life essences.
MY SOUL IS SUBMITTED
Thus have I come to you and the worldwide Internet with
this bizarre "Site for Gore Eyes" where you can browse
to your pumping-heart's (mal)content. It is not always
a pleasant duty, this self-appointed task to submit my
soul to each cinematic shocker charging out of the producing
chutes. But someone had to face up to the blood-drenched
"What singular being is this, who doth submit his
soul and destiny to cover movies so dark and disturbing
in content?" A question you might well ask yourself
upon arriving at THE CREATURE FEATURES SPIDER
WEBSITE. Ah, allow me, acolytes of murder, mayhem
and madness, to explain that I, the genteel, gentle John
Stanley, worked for 33 years at THE SAN FRANCISCO
CHRONICLE, rising through the ranks of lowly
ones to assume the mantle of entertainment writer.
MY MIND IS NUMBED
Avast! For 33 years I covered movies, television and
other mind-numbing forms of media, specializing in the
bizarre and the weird. During this time I had close encounters
with, and interviewed, RAY BRADBURY, LEONARD NIMOY,
STEPHEN KING, ROGER & JULIE CORMAN, WILLIAM SHATNER, CHUCK
NORRIS, CHRISTOPHER LEE, RAY HARRYHAUSEN, JIM HENSON,
CHARLTON HESTON, ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER, JOE DANTE, HARRISON
FORD, CARRIE FISHER, STEVEN SPIELBERG, etc. etc.
(Those loud THUDS you hear are the names I'm dropping.)
While all this was going on, I started compiling
THE CREATURE FEATURES MOVIE GUIDE in the
mid-1970s. After I became the host of "Creature Features,"
an enormously popular San Francisco horror series that
ran from 1971 through 1984 on Channel 2, KTVU (I hosted
the showcase from 1979-'84), I formed
CREATURES AT LARGE PRESS and published the
first edition in 1981.
A DRIPPING NEED
To my shocked delight, I discovered there was a dripping
need this singular book filled. Warner Books published the
second edition in 1984 with many new reviews, but it wasn't
until 1987 that REVENGE OF THE CREATURE FEATURES
MOVIE GUIDE was unleashed on an unsuspecting world
with a far more encompassing scope. And with
THE CREATURE FEATURES MOVIE GUIDE STRIKES AGAIN
(published in 1994, and still going strong in bookstores
and other marketplaces, and available from Creatures at
Large Press), the book continued in the same vein, exposing
its vast readership to thousands of new reviews.
| "M FOR MUMMY" and the Unicorn above
are among 24 drawings in CREATURE FEATURES (4th edition)
by Kenn Davis, a mystery novelist and surrealism painter.
I now find myself faced with covering this field for
an even greater audience. At this very moment, Berkley
Books (under its Boulevard imprint) is unleashing a mass-market
paperback version CREATURE
FEATURES: THE SCIENCE FICTION, FANTASY AND HORROR MOVIE
GUIDE for only $8, bringing it into the economic
range of more readers than ever before. (And with 500
new movie reviews filling its already jam-packed pages).
Alas, THINGS, WRETCHED BEINGS and
OTHER GIBBERING ENTITIES, you who have
stumbled into THE CREATURE FEATURES SPIDER WEBSITE
unawares ... this showcase is designed to bring you
NEW MOVIE REVIEWS (this month you will find
critiques on STAR TREK: FIRST CONTACT, MARS ATTACKS!
and STEPHEN KING'S THINNER), and expose
you to the mindset into which I am trapped. And to inform
you about how you can order products published by
CREATURES AT LARGE PRESS, the imprint that
has given the world so many movie guides of a horrific
nature (and an unending case of indigestion)..
Soon, you too, friends and visitors to this unique INNER
SANCTUM OF DOOM, will wallow in the same cinematic
blood in which I have wallowed for so long. I hope this
is the beginning of a bloody good friendship. Come back
again--if you dare, if you have the intestinal fortitude.
Creature Features: New Edition
| Movie Reviews | Creature
Features Strikes Again | Gory
Favorite Movies | All-Time
Worst Movies | Psycho Lives
How to Order Books
Copyright © 2007 Creatures at Large Press